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. I never expected ... this. I can't believe you actually ... fucked your father like that." I know, babe," I said trying not to sound too downtrodden."You didn't have to tell me," he reminded me. "Unless I'd seen it myself, I'd probably never have guessed." I don't want to hide things from you, Mark. You would've eventually found out. One way or another."His fingers gently rubbed my hand, surprising me. I had wondered if he would even want to touch me after what I had just told him. It gave me hope.I added, "Here we are together ... and I'm telling you the biggest secret I have ever told anyone. I want you to know it all, too. If we're going to have a future, I can't hide this from you. I don't want you hating me years from now when you would find out. And you know you would."Mark just lay there for a few moments before saying anything.He then asked, "I do want to know one thing. Are you and your father still fucking?"I took a deep breath. The answer to that question wasn't simple. I. You scream until your voice is gone and because you know of nothing else to do. You curl into the fetal position and you silently sob, hoping that maybe being curled into ball with stop your heart from shattering. Hot tears flow down your flushed cheeks, giving a physical form for the aching, grasping, crushing, sorrow in your chest. The tears don't stop for awhile and even some of your pink hair is wet. Now you are numb. You released every emotion you ever contained and now you are left with nothing. Uncurling yourself from your position and grabbing a pen and paper, you begin to write out your last goodbyes . . . If loving her is a sin, then . . .I will bath in it.I will reject Heaven.I will fight God alone at the gates of hell to my very last breath to protect her.If loving her is an abomination then . . .I am the most vile creature to live.I deserve all the disgust, especially from her.If loving her is a mistake then . . .I will be forever wrong.I can no longer fight.
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